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  • Have a plan for the holidays and discuss it with your loved ones.

Plan your budget, shopping, number of parties you are planning to attend, Christmas cards, etc…  Plan your holiday decorating and make it a joint fun day.  Control your calendar, and what you are willing to do and plan alone time for your loved ones.  Do a little bit every day, so you do not overwhelm yourself with holiday shopping, decorating, writing Christmas cards…

  • Have an eating plan too. Do not overload on munchies. Have healthy food with you at a party. Bring what you want or need to eat.
  • Keep holiday gift giving simple. Shop online, or buy people the same item.
  • Make feeling good your first priority with clear intentions. RESPECT YOURSELF. Take time to REST and get enough SLEEP!
  • Let go of wanting to get everyone’s approval.
  • You do not have to make a decision right away. You do not have to say. “YES” to every invitation.

Say:  “I’ll get back to you when I check my schedule.”

  • Set firm boundaries by communicating clearly what is acceptable and what is not. Be ready to have an exit plan (rental car, stay at a motel) or distraction plan (cooking, cleaning, and setting a limit of how long you are staying).  If you are going through a divorce and do not want to talk about it.

Say:  “I rather enjoy the holidays and my family; let us not talk about the negative things now.”

  • Accept others. You are not going to change anyone over the holidays.  You have to accept that your family is NOT the perfect family.  Have realistic expectations.  Pause, breathe and watch the family dynamics like a stranger looking in.  Disengage, not engage in the old family patterns.
  • Have forgiveness for those who have hurt you. The holidays are for being thankful, not conflict resolution.

10) Plan a “reward day” such as a spa day, alone day, etc…


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